Advertising RISC OS 

Taking computing to the final frontier 
 

Harriman was shown into the office of the president of RISC OS Computing Ltd. Passing through an arch around which was emblazoned, "Taking computing to the final frontier", he walked forward. He slowed a little some twenty feet from the president's desk to quickly pin a large circular badge to his lapel.
 

 
 
Paul Middleton looked up. "Ahh, Mr Harriman, this really is an honour. Do come in and..." - The executive of the mightiest computing company on Earth stopped suddenly. His expression changed. "What are you doing wearing that ?" he snapped. "Trying to annoy me ?"
 
'That' was the two inch disc; Harriman unpinned it and put it in his pocket. It was a circular advertising button, in plain yellow; printed on it in black, almost covering it, was the symbol 'MS', the trademark of RISC OS Computing's only serious rival.
 
"No", answered Harriman, "though I don't blame you for being irritated. I see half the school kids in the country wearing these silly buttons. I came to give you a friendly tip not to annoy you".
 
"What do you mean ?"
 
"When I paused at your door, that badge on my lapel was the size - to you, sitting at your desk - the full Moon looks like when you are standing in your garden, looking up at it. You didn't have any trouble reading what was on the badge, did you ? I know you didn't; you yelled at me before either one of us stirred".
 
"What about it ?"
 
"How would you feel - and what would be the effect on RISC OS sales - if there was "MS" written across the face of the Moon instead of just on a school-kid's sweater ?"
 
Middleton thought about it, then said, "Harriman, don't make poor jokes; I've had a bad day".
 
"I'm not joking. As you have probably heard, I'm behind this Moon-trip venture. Between ourselves, Paul, it's quite an expensive undertaking, even for me. A few days ago a man came to me - you'll pardon me if I don't mention names ? You can figure it out. Anyhow, this man represented a client who wanted to buy the advertising concession for the moon. He knew we weren't sure of success; but he said his client would take the risk.
 
"At first I couldn't figure out what he was talking about; he set me straight. Then I thought he was kidding. Then I was shocked. Look at this..."
 
Harriman took out a large of paper and spread it on Paul's desk.
 
"You see the equipment is set up anywhere near the centre of the Moon, as we see it. Eighteen pyrotechnics rockets shoot out in eighteen directions, like the spokes of a wheel, but to carefully calculated distances. They hit and the bombs they carry go off, spreading finely divided carbon black for calculated distances. There's no air on the Moon, you know, Paul. A fine powder will throw just as easily as a javelin. Here's the result".
 
He turned the paper over; on the back there was a picture of the Moon, printed lightly. Overlaying it, in black, heavy print was "MS".
 
"So, it is that outfit - those poisoners !"
 
"No, no, I didn't say so ! But it illustrates the point; MS is only two symbols; it can be spread large enough to be read on the face of the Moon."
 
Paul stared at the horrid advertisement. "I don't believe it will work !"
 
"A reliable pyrotechnics firm has guaranteed that it will - provided I can deliver their equipment to the spot. After all, Paul, it doesn't take much of a pyrotechnics rocket to go a long distance on the Moon. Why, you could throw a baseball a couple of miles yourself - low gravity, you know".
 
"People would never stand for it. It's sacrilege !"
 
Harriman looked sad. "I wish you were right. But they stand for skywriting - and video commercials".
 
Paul chewed his lips. "Well, I don't see why you come to me with it," he exploded. "You know damn well the name RISC OS won't go on the face of the Moon. The letters would be too small to be read".
 
Harriman nodded. "That's exactly why I came to you. Paul, this isn't just a business venture to me; it's my heart and soul. It just made me sick to think of somebody actually wanting to use the face of the Moon for advertising. As you say, it's sacrilege. But somehow these jackals found out I was pressed for cash. They came to me when they know I would have to listen. I put them off. I promised them an answer on Thursday. Then I went home and lay awake about it. After a while I thought of you."
 
"Me ?"
 
"You. You and RISC OS Computing Ltd. After all, you've got a good product and you need legitimate advertising for it. It occured to me that there are more ways to use the Moon in advertising than by defacing it. Now just suppose that you bought the same concession, but with the public-spirited promise of never letting it be used. Suppose you featured that fact in your ads ? Suppose you ran pictures of a boy and a girl, sitting out under the Moon, using your new Love-a-doodle II software on a RISC OS laptop. Suppose all of my Moon-mission's IT was RISC OS ? But I don't have to tell you how to do it." He glanced at his watch-finger. "I've got to run and I don't want to rush you. If you want to do business, leave word at my office by noon tomorrow and I'll have our man Montgomery get in touch with the RISC OS advertising department."

 
ADVERTISING RISC OS
 

The text is based upon the short story,
"The Man Who Sold The Moon" by Robert A Heinlein, 1953.
The animation "Advertising RISC OS" is one of the new
!Flicker films from The MathMagical Software Company.

!Flicker will feature in the next issue of RISCOScode.
 

 
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